Aeranwon - Supporting Independent Mothers

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A local newspaper recently published an option column that raised the issue of an increase in teenage mothers if the government provided assistance to single mothers. Around the same time, a patient in the same room as a friend I was visiting commented, on hearing about my work, that if the government helps out single mothers it will only encourage more unmarried women to get pregnant. Wanting to find out for myself how true this might be, I conducted an informal survey by asking women, including a reporter who wanted to write a story about Aeranwon, if she would choose to be a single mother if the government was prepared to fully support her financially. Each of them answered 'No way".

I'm constantly struck also by the way in which society labels the woman a sinner, without mentioning the responsibility and role of the birth father. Through the story of one young woman who came to us at Aeranwon, I'd like to help people see the human face of these mothers.

The girl's mother had run away from a violent alcoholic husband leaving her daughter to take care of her young siblings and her father. Because of her family situation, the girl was obliged to leave school after middle school. She managed to get a job in a small store where she was eventually befriended by a college student. Their relationship grew and she was very happy. Here was someone who love her and would take care of her - something she had yet to experience. When she became pregnant, her lover convinced her not to have the child as he was still a student and not yet able to financially support a child. However, when she became pregnant the second time, she decided she wanted to have the baby. When the father threatened to leave her if she did not have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption, she realised he did not truly love her. And so, she came to Aeranwon. After giving birth to her son, she lived in our Mother and Baby Home while she completed her high school qualifications and obtained a professional license in the field of her choice. Knowing how often children of violent parents can also become abusive, she also enrolled in Aeranwon's Parenting Education Program.

Mother and son are doing well, but still face many challenges because of social attitudes in our country. The only difference between single and other ‘mothers’ is their marital status. Both carry the baby in their womb, suffer pain as they bring their child into the world, love and want only the best for their son or daughter. If we respect their right to have and raise a baby without considering their marital status, there will be no prejudice against single mothers and their children will have a much better chance to become productive, contributing members of society. Also there shouldn't be any age discrimination.  The age of a mother shouldn't be an issue.  We have to accept all the mothers as they are. 

I truly wish people respected all single mothers who give a birth to their child in spite of the social prejudice on them, and facilitate raising all the babies no matter to whom they were born.


Note: Aeranwon provides support for independent mothers while they are expecting their baby and on an ongoing basis after the birth if the mother decides to raise the child on her own.
Some of the proceeds from the Canada Day/Independence Day BBQ Cruise will be donated to Aeranwon on behalf of the American Women's Club.

5 comments | Add your comment

A.J., 2010-06-20 09:46:03

I am a pregnant foreign English teacher. I have worked for my school for 1 year and 3 months. I informed them this week that I am expecting. My intentions were to explain I will be collecting maternity leave pay. The reaction was initially positive, but when they found out I will most likely be alone when I have the child, they told me I need to have an abortion to keep my job, or I will need to leave in two or three months. The reasons the directors of this private school have given are that my pregnancy will produce a bad image for the school and they don’t know what to tell the children. Parents and children at my school do not know if I am married or not. If I were to get married to another foreigner, it would involve our embassies only. I plan on fighting to keep my job, and be treated fairly. I recorded a meeting with my employers in which they admitted my possible dismissal will be a result of my pregnancy as a single mother and nothing to do with my job performance. They were very angry when they found out at the end of the meeting that I had been recording them. They yelled at me and told me it is illegal to record someone without their consent. I told them I recorded them to talk to a lawyer and because I feel I need help. After finding out I had recorded them, they seemed to change their mind about helping me. We are having another meeting on Monday. I don’t know how this will turn out, but I would like to say that I know as an American I have a belief in my ri

A.J., 2010-06-20 09:48:22

Both my manager and director told me, “this is Korea, we are different, we don’t fight for rights.” This leads me to wonder how many Korean single mothers are forced out of jobs unfairly, or forced into abortions. I found your article very interesting. My employer told me it “is a very bad thing to be a single mother in Korea, and I have never heard of anyone being a single mother.” I am posting because I know my email address will not be made public. I cannot tell where I am or at which school this is taking place, because I would be producing a bad image for my school, which would be an actual reason to fire me. Whatever happens with my situation, I am grateful that the issue of treatment of single mothers in Korea has been introduced to me, and I will always want to do anything I can to help this situation.

p.j., 2010-06-24 21:06:51

A.J. you are doing just fine and you are being truthful and strong. I commend you. Please consider taking your situation to the Labor Board. They will be able to assist you with your employer. Now, it may be according to Korean laws, rules and regulations (what they tell you) but at least you will be informed and, thus, better off. Hasseling with employers in Korea can be confusing and you do not need that at all. This week the Labor Board helped me, an American teaching in Seoul, secure a payment schedule in writing, backed by the law, from my employer of the last 11 months. Yes, 11 months cause he "could not afford me" after 11 months, giving him the freedom not to provide airfare home or bonus for completion of the contract, plus he is my landlord so now I was asked to pay rent. Long story but you, A.J., might find some security in speaking with the Labor Board which, hopefully, will help you make some sound decisions. I wish you, and your baby, all the best!

Jane Jeong Trenka, 2010-07-07 20:48:58

Thanks for your translation!

Joni, 2010-07-08 00:43:43

Aha! That probably explains why my birth mother left...to actually have a life and career. I hope she found a successful life. I wish South Korea could change their values and HR laws. Discrimination and narrow mindedness only leads to a broken society. I sort of wonder how they feel about gays. Why can't nations understand and accept that not everyone is going to be the same monotone image that society wants them to be. Confucianism is the past, acceptance and change is the future. Single mothers are the future. Look at America's leader, President Obama turned out pretty awesome and was raised by a single mother. Actually most people I know who were raised by single mothers are more successful than ever. We cannot stay stuck in an old rut and continue to put others down because they are different and challenge old ways of thinking.

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