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[CherryCola]

Here is a little update on the roommate.

I think that she is immature and does not think about the consequences of things.I don't know if this is b/c of the way that she was brought up or b/c that is the way she is.

There are little things that she does like she uses all the water in the Britta water pitcher and puts it right back in the fridge,it annoys me but doesn't put me in danger or cost me money.

The thing that I am very angry about and we will talk about this when she gets home is that she left the wondow to her room open....again! I have told her that when she leaves she needs to lock the window or someone could break into the house,I didn't go into anymore details though.

Yesterday I had to go into her room and the heat was ON full and the window was open and she didn't come back all night.This made me so angry b/c I explained that safety was very important to me.I had a home invasion years ago and I'm still scared from it in some ways.

I have told her a few times how important it is to lock the doors and windows when we leave.So she wasted the heat and left me feeling unsafe.We will sit down and have a serious talk about this when she gets back.

She is moving out at the end of the month! I laugh at this! I really do! She goes bac to her parents in Korea in July but she wants to get her own apartment with a Korean girl she met at English class until then.So ok,she can move if she wants b/c I can't keep her here.

She doesn't realize that a lease is for 1 year or that she will need to pay for the hook up of all the utilities and pay each month or buy a fridge and stove not to mention all the little things you need for a home.She has no idea what she is doing.So I sat her down and gave her little lesson about renting and told her about sub-letting from students away for Summer instead.The friend she met doesn't know what she is doing either.She can work here and will stay longer then she will,but she is thinking of going to another province,but she was about to last month and changed her mind at the last minute.

I will laugh if it falls apart in her face after all the advice I gave her!

I will also be sure that my next roommate will have lived on her own for sometime as well so I don't have to feel like her mother.

[ooga]

Well it's been nearly two years since the last post, but for CherryCola, I write this. You're probably rid of the now 22 year old so I don't worry about that one but anyway..

1) That one person who generalized about Koreans really pissed me off. Shoddy statistics and possible mistranslations can create a whole slew of generalizations that can prove extremely misleading on forums such as these. I mean, many women probably thought you were asking them whether they are afraid to be alone in a home, as in without security or companionship. Sigh. Saying that you've "given up" on finding a real adult in Korea is basically saying there aren't any there, so it is tremendously offensive.

2) I'm not sure why, but I read the whole of the posts by CherryCola, possibly because I sympathize with having nightmarish roommates of colors and cultures different from mine. As a Korean American who's recently spent 3 months in Korea, I have some insights as to this whole thing.

a. Koreans count the year spent in the womb, so this girl may have still been a teenager, but in Korea she'd be 20. Considering what connotation a 'teen' has in the U.S. I'm sure Canadians would understand the subtle difference between 19 and 20.

b. When a Korean family sends a 20-year-old (19 or 20, doesn't matter) overseas as far as Canada, they probably expect the roommate (especially one so much older) to take care of them as one would a child. People usually pay a premium for this service (which is the main reason for finding a furnished place with an older FEMALE roomate). I guess they were stupid if they didn't check with you first to see what you would provide.

To put things into perspective, There are public dormitories in Korea that do every chore mentioned for the residents, including internet, a/c, free snacks, and janitor duties, for something like 400 US dollars per month. Yes, the rooms are tiny, but this is the sort of overboard service they're used to. Obviously, a longer chat about roommate's expectation was probably necessary to avoid all this stress on cherrycola's part.

c. The girl does sound a bit daft for a Korean even at that age (Koreans are not stupid, seriously. They're much more health, practicality, and common-sense obsessed than we are it seems. BBC or CNN  just found the Koreans to be the most materialistic in the world.. don't know how they came up with that.). To be quite frank, CherryCola does seem to be a bit of a control/freak mothering type, which doesn't have to be bad if she lives alone or with someone who has compatible cleanliness requirements... but a slightly daft messy Korean teen with a language barrier + a control/neat freak mothering 32 year old does not a very good combination make.

d. Finally, how mature and wise is anyone at 20? Perhaps a better age compatibility with future roommates is also advisable.

Peace~ ~

[dcrofton]

Well, I've been in Korea for 9 years or more, and have married a Korean woman (3 years ago actually), and I can agree that for the most part, it is often (especially in one so young) a lack of awareness that causes many Korean women to do "stupid" things.  Even my wife, who I love very much, after having lived away from her parents for 10 years, and even in Canada for the year before we married, likes to stack glass casserole dishes ON TOP of flimsy plastic containers, and on the top shelf near the ceiling!  I couldn't believe it the first time I saw it, and wasn't sure if it was my wife's lack of awareness, my own hang up, or what. But I really do think it was just a lack of awareness of the safety issues involved in digging around for the right size dish from a shelf (stacked top heavy) quite above head level.
  And thanks Jun for posting!  It's always good to hear things from a Korean perspective.  I'm sure there are plenty of things that we westerners do that defy reason in the Korean understanding of things too.  Clear communication really is the best thing.  Thank God I married a woman who is open to learning, and open to communicating with me when she is upset about something I'VE done. 

[kewlchick]

hi Cherrycola

I've had the same experience with a room mate. Don't wait until it gets out of hand. Talk to her but please try to sound concerned so she won't get embarrassed. She might seem insensitive but maybe she just needs to hear from you. It's good though that you're setting an example for her. But believe me, for some people "modeling" just won't work.

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